Freaky Knitters Unite

Psycho Kat Arrested!

We've all heard of being attacked by the neighborhood dog... but are they going to make sure there is a leash law for Kitties too?  I use to have a psycho cat... I named him rasputian and he fit the name.  He would actually attacked so much me until I was scared to come home.  I even hid in the bathroom crying because he keeping beating me up... what an ass!!

Enjoy.....

I Knit Therefore I am?????

Have you ever noticed the look on people’s faces when you tell them you love to knit?

It’s almost like it’s a bad four letter word…

I’m 33 years old even though I think and everyone else thinks I’m a kid. I will never disagree. Then I tell them the best thing to do is be at home, with my blankie, two kitties on the sofa listen to music and knitting.

I know it sounds like an old fart thing to do, but who can say they sit at home and can make their own bikini?

Knitting has become such a trend to say the least within the Generation X crowd. We are the lost generation and I’m proud of that. I’ve been strange since I started to crawl and would only go backwards. My parents should have known that I will always go against the group. Sorry to say they had to learn the hard way….

Since I moved to Savannah 6 years ago from Atlanta it has been a hard adjustment. I feel like it will be a never ending issue with me.

But going from one bad relationship to another with men and with friends having major ups and downs… one thing is for sure – Knitting keeps me somewhat sane. I’m not saying I do have the help of the drugs from the doctor, today everyone is taking something to keep them from running over people… or burying bodies in the backyard. Even with the drugs we get… knitting is meditation. Even being a frog helps the madness. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Right now I’m searching for a cool project just for me. Yes I wanna knit something for ME!!! I’m not saying that once everyone found out I knit they have consumed me with a list to keep me busy from my whole freakin life. I think I'm going to try this... it is easy-smesy but I like and a woman can't have too many shoes or bags... and men:

http://www.craftbits.com/viewProject.do?projectID=1080

More Knitting Therapy talk? FREAKIN NO… Lets all pee in our pants – hey don’t leave me alone with a big wet spot on my ass! KNIT 1/BACKLIST4?

http://www.happywomanmagazine.com/Features/kinit1backlist4.htm

 

Blonde Knitting Joke

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and
yelled, "PULLOVER! "NO," the blonde yelled back,"IT'S A SCARF!"

Bang Me Again Baby - MUSIC

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is scared I'll take over.

My Chemical Romance -its_not_a_fashion_statement_its_a_deathwish.mp3 

The Killers RULE

the_killers_oh_yeah_by_the_way.mp3

My Theme Song!!!

violent_femmes_kiss_off.mp3

Another Killer's song: Dedicated to Lor - you know why!!

Replaceable.mp3

Bloc Party: Get your freak on...

bloc_party__shes_hearing_voices.mp3

Last one tonight... can forget about my love - Hot Hot Heat

Download Aveda.mp3

Damn it ALL....

OK... so here I am Sunday night watching Meet Joe Black and wanting to kick myself in the butt cause I can't finish the baby blanket I've started for my friend's new baby.  I swear Evie is going to be 3 by the time I get this to her. It is actually a really easy pattern.  Here is the link: Knitted Baby Blanket

Somehow I've added 1 stupid stich and can't figure out where it is.  I feel like I just wanna cry.  I have to everything perfect and this isn't perfect.   So I've put it away for now until I get unfrustrated or I'll have a mental break!

Here is the picture of my finished pillow for my ex-husand. 

 

This is the back

This is the front.

He wanted a sky blue pillow, but all the yarn I found was either like a country blue or baby blue...  and that is so not him.  He is better with fashion than I ever have been and I love being a fashion police. 

Speaking of fashion  I don't understand is that girls in the south think it is OK to wear tank tops two sizes to small when they certainly don't need to be wearing a tank top at all.  I know it is hot here but come on, I liked to keep my lunch down. 

Forget about shopping down here.  I have to shop on the web or I'd be wearing clothes that were out of style for 10 years. 

SEX GAME

Great sex game for all you girls.  I've done this on more than one of my past boys and let me tell you... it works wonders. 

1st  - write an letter or email from an annonmous account.  It needs to say that his date has been arranged and will show up (address) at (time).  Make sure to tell them to have like $500 (monoplay money - or real money if you are rich). 

Next - Show up in a special outfit... kind of like a hooker - but with a little class.  Change your name... mine is destiny. 

I say "My name is Destiny, I'm your date for tonight and am here to make your fantasies come true.

You do have the money, correct? "  Do not get out of charcater - it is important so you both feel like this is a new thing.

Now the fun part... you have to ask him what he wants... and then you are to give him a price.  Like going down is $50... and so on.  I always give bonuses and expect tips from him.  Once the money runs out it is time to be done.  If you don't live together the best part is to get up and go home... act like nothing has happened. 

Trust me on this... your man will LOVE you.  It is time for woman to take charge in the bedroom.  This way he will never ever forget you... ever.  This will be a first and probably the only time it will happen.

I just love new sex games. 

How the Bug Won

This morning started out like any other day... get up, gripe about having to get up, then ironed my clothes for the day and when I started to go out of my room(naked) I noticed my two kitties staring at the wall, knowing this can't be a good thing I set out for an investigation... mistake #1.   What could be so interesting?

Well to my surprise Palmetto Bug season in Savannah has started! Up on my wall was the mother of all Palmettos BUGS!  I was thinking "how in the world do they get so big so early in the year"?   Anyhoo... instead of just leaving it alone and letting my trusty "bug" catcher kitties torment it to death(which hind sight is 20/20) I decided to grab the roach spray and go hunting for a roach... mistake #2.
 
High up on the wall it sat... happy it could be... now if you didn't know this, they fly and for some reason they fly at me... forgetting this important fact I bravely (if you have ever seen one brave is a great word to use) got just close enough (mistake #3) to spray it and once I did I was just close enough that I must look like a great landing strip... I sprayed and low and behold the thing flys off and right at me... why couldn't the thing go any other direction?  That is right bugs like to land on me!!!  I couldn't figure out where that thing went... I look down and saw it barely crawling up my leg... yes it was on my bare leg WET and creeping up me. 
At that moment I realized that I was stupid and instead of just knocking it off I start to scream and dance the "get this freakin thing off me" dance! 

Not only can those things crawl up you they are impossible to get off... once it finally let go in the middle of my dance I was soooo scared that I ran out of the room...(mistake #4) thinking it would probably chase me again. After a minute I went back in and the stupid thing had even got away. 

So tonight I will be sleeping with one eye open looking for that smart mother of all bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Internet Man Saves the day

My baby just loves the pillow foam for my current project. What a little brat he is.

Today was a crazy day... I got up because my sweet little Rufus above loves to lick my face in the mornings to get loved on and so up I get and off to work for a couple of hours. The cutie guy that I have my fingers around these days stopped by twice to see me in my cage, well cube. What a little hottie he is... anyway... get out of there at 1 to head off to the Post Office to get my cool ass corset from Japan I ordered and then to let the landlord in, I call her the dragon lady... trust me she fits the name.
Finally at 2:30 the internet guy comes and fixes my problem with my line. Trixie (my girlie kitty - her name comes from he always sitting with her legs spread like she is waiting for a Trick)LOVES men so she was more happy than I was.... poor guy didn't know he was going to have to play with a little pussy (my cat OK) while he worked.
Then off to the local yarn store to finish that pillow, here is the front....

Now off to the back. I'm doing a champagne chenelle and a dark blue stripe at the end... finishing with joined gold large buttons... I was going to put old beer bottle caps at the end, but they won't be here in time. I was thinking of drilling holes in the caps and using them as buttons.. I'll have to do it later.

The bitch about this pillow is that I couldn't find a pattern for 18" throw pillow without just being ugly. I'm a new knitter but I like everything else done MY way.... so here I go I'm going to make this my way.

I casted on 42 stitches on 13 needles of the blue. I just made a swatch to find out how many stitches to have for the 20" I needed. that way I could have one inch each side to sew.
Now when I changed to the back I had to cast on 50 and I use the 13 needles again.
I realized that the front showed a little of the white pillow(with a little bonus kat fur) so I sewed a light blue cover over the pillow.

So I'm hoping that I be done tonight and sew it up tomorrow... I'm soooo excited.

I think I'm actually going to try to do some felting. Now I'm one of those stupid people who would rather have a cool location to live than to have cool appliances. I do not have a washer and dryer... actually my ex-husband has the luxury of my beautiful Maytag machines.
So yes I'm going to attempt to felt with my hands... I know it sucks - well that is what I've read, but sometimes finishing something difficult is so much more worth while... especcially when it looks cool and you can bragg on how hard it was to do.

The way I see everything especcially sex is war wounds totally rule. I love getting a bruise while playing and know that everytime that it hurts that it was damn worth it. If you don't get hurt than you aren't playing hard enough.

I'm going to leave you with one reason I stay in my antique apartment.... the is my view outside my front door.... beautiful!!!

Music, Knitting and Life

I'm again sitting here at the coffee shop... how hard is it to get a computer setup at the house, well for bellsouth it is impossible.

I've decided to make my ex-husband a pillow - OK, well he asked me too and I thought it would be easy and pretty cool. Not many ex-wives would do that! I guess I'm a little on the weird side.

I'm sitting here listening to Billie Holiday from my playlist in WebJay.org:

Man this song is freakin sad.... I'm just about to cry except I think the people here will think I'm a little weird - even in this hell hole.

Ok hottie at 2 o'clock... ok hottie left! Of course.
So my plan today is to go to the bookstore and get a book... finish my stupid tunic which I haven't touched in days and start on that pillow.
One thing I know is if I do knit this thing it will take me forever to send it.... I still have presents from Christmas to send. Talking about procrastination... I'm the worlds worst. I'd rather here someone yell at me everyday than to actually go do something I've been putting off for a month. Why do I do think? Hell if I know. I sit there day after day and stress over it and still do nothing. I drove around with a flat tire (I kept putting air in it) for a month before even forced to get it replaced. And by that time the thing was fucked!

Why do I do this? Is it born into me or is it learned? Is it all those years doing drugs that made me freakin lazy? Part of me would love to be obsessive complusive but would that suck too?

Got the Knit1 mag yesterday! I love that thing. If you haven't seen it go by and pick up a copy. http://www.knit1mag.com/
They always have neat indie knitting patterns - which you can't find in the Family Circle. I want to do the IPod cover in there. I haven't ventured out in felting because of not having a washer and dryer... really didn't want to venture off into hand felting but hey it doesn't look like I'm moving anytime soon so I guess this little thing might be cool to try it.

                                                              My apartment

I guess I need to cruz this joint before I start growning roots. Enjoy this: Saves The Day: At your funeral